dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
