She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
