so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
