More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
