we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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