Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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