I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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