I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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