Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
