let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
