If i come over, it means nothing
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
