Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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