You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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