Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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