You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
