rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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