totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
