On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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