Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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