so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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