This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
