Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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