Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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