But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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