Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
