Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Randomize