I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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