I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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