Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
