can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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