fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize