i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
