I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
