A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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