i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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