I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
