I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
