I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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