i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
