the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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