the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
