that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I licked your asshole in confidence.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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