If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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