she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
