I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
