dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
