I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Can you bring me the toilet please
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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