mondays should just be called national damage control day
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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