yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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