what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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