We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
