yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't deserve a penis
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
