This dress was meant to end up on your floor
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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