Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
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Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
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You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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