he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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