So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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