Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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