We're facebook friends in real life
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize