Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
