so that wasnt chicken after all
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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