I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
