I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize