Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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