it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
