No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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