Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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