ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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